I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I will be naked everywhere
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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