still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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