I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Randomize
