Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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