Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
