I need help removing her.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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