I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
