Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
