I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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