Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
