Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You took a bar mat shot.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
