we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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