A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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