Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
