Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
