So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
