Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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