And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize