Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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