I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
nutella sex= disaster
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
