I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
did you just send me my own nude
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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