If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
