Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
