you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
