I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize