Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
