Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize