oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
