i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
