i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize