I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Couch. On fire.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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