she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
