When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
