Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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