the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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