She went from zero to smokin in five shots
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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