what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
