Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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