you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
