i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
babies were throwing up all over the place
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
