all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
he high fived his dick after we had sex
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
