Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
is that a dick in a sweater?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
