he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How external is "for external use only"?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
