just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize