Well douche your snatch and let's go!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
