I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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