The maid of honor just puked.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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