Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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