I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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