Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
