ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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