I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
