Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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