hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
