how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
