Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
A bitchslap is in order.
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